I cant lie being divorced is so hard. Not just for me and the kids but everyone experiences the loss. I have lost very close friends just from their own judgments and them not knowing how to deal. But ones that have stayed I cherish, we have gotten closer than I could imagine. For that I thank everyone who has been there for all the phone calls, all the tears and all the joyful stories. I am trying let me say it again TRYING to be positive about my X, but it seems daily there is some new drama. Today me nor the kids have heard from him in a week, my pathetic amount of child support is late and he hasn't even touched paying his 1/2 for Broxtons medical bills, or daycare expenses. I still have to come up with the minimum payments and I have to hire a lawyer to get those expenses reimbursed and for some reason, he gets to do what he wants when he wants to, with no accountability or responsibility. Its difficult to not be bitter. Today he asks me to look for his birth certificate. I' m sure its so he can get a passport so him and his current for the moment trashy girlfriend can go on a vacation. He wont need to worry about who will get the kids off to school when hes gone, who will be watching them and if they will be OK. These are only things I, their mother have to worry about. And although I and every other single mother deserve a vacation, we wont be able to go. For one who can find childcare without inconveniencing and with me still having to pay all the other payments I wont be able to afford one just yet. So here I am bitter and pissed and maybe a little jealous of all of his freedoms...... And then that still small voice whispered in my head... I get to smell my kids breath every morning, I am the one who gets to see them look so grownup walking out of the school everyday. I am the one who gets to teach them about responsibility and I am the one who gets to beam with pride when they show a characteristic that I have been trying so hard to in force. He gets the freedom but I get the moments! There is no comparison. I am so blessed.... so very blessed!
Monday, March 3, 2008
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
7 comments:
Stace....you get to smell thier breath in the morning?? What??? That is the cutest thing that I have ever heard! Wierd, but cute. Love you. geeg
stacey
you are so cute, sometimes it is a good thing to vent, the grass may seem greener on the other side but you still have to cut it. hahaha. hope you dont mind if i add ya to my blog site
annmarie
SO powerful! I love it! This is my only comment to this: "Ryan, find your birth certificate yourself."
AMEN sista! Ryan needs to grow up and he can start by finding his own crap!
Stacie.. yo know you did the right thing, even though it is hard on everyone, but especially you. I hope it gets better, I love your attitude about what you get, keep it up!
wow how powerful, i love you so much you made me cry, you are a great mom, and have the best kids, even though i'm partial, arn't you glad i finally got on, this really is fun, i've been so busy , ill try to be better, i know you'll have a better life, it already is.! love ya lots
Hey stacie it is sondra, I am sorry that your is being such a jurk! I am proud of you for what you are doing I am sure that it is not easy to be a single mother but you are a good one. If there is ever anything that I can do I would be glad to help you out.
Now you have the link to my blog spot.
Post a Comment